ITALY IN PICTURES

Below is a sampling (a heavy sampling) of the photos I took during my exquisite time in Italy. I have so much to write one day about my trip and I am sure by the time I get around to it I will have forgotten everything that happened.

I was awestruck and captivated by the beauty of the Val D'Orca which surrounds Monticchiello, Assisi which may be the most beautiful towns I have ever seen, Pienza and it's traditions, Rapallo and it's breathtaking colors, and of course Florence and Rome for being Florence and Rome.

I hope I captured to essence of the trip in the following photos.  You can click on any one of them them to make them larger and then use your arrow keys to go to the next.


Enjoy!

MONTICCHIELLO ELECTION UPDATE

I am starting to see results in my campaign to become mayor, or tyranical ruler, of Monticchiello.  The reisdents are starting to take a shine to me and I now have a majority (three of the five) of the  local merchants in my back pocket, and everyone knows that it is the business folks that start, finish and finance an election.

My first supporter is Giacomo, the young owner of the La Guardiola Bar and Cafe at the entrance of town.  He is a handsome 32 year old Italiano with a curly mop of dark hair, a wide toothy smile, and an occasional distracting pimple.   

While making our initial approach to Monticchiello we noticed we were frighteningly low on gas.  The next morning it was Giacomo who gave us a short-cut to Montipulciano that only the locals travel.  It cut off 3.5 kilometers and covers the car in a chalk-like film that means... LOCAL.  The fithy car gives me steret cred. 

When our landlady, Barbara, introduced us to the town the day before, I ridiculed her for how filthy her car was.   Some would say this wasn't the smartest political move, but I knew she is a slum lord who lives in Montipulciano and has not vote in town.  Thankfully she got my odd sense of humor!

Giacomo is loose with his wifi code so I have frequented his cafe almost daily since our arrival and yesterday when I ordered a glass of wine so I could call Jose, he brought me out a salami, olive and crostini plate.  He also gave me a look that made me a bit uncomfortable.  Believe me - I have his vote.

The first night here we went to LaPorta, the world-renowned restaurant in town owned by Daria.  Her restaurant has been written up in the New York Times, as well as several other publications.  Her view of the Val D'Orcia is the most spectacular and she, not so slyly, lets you know there will be a discount if you pay in cash.  Turns out the discount is 25%.  

My campaign manager and I agree we need to grease her palms a bit more in order to count of her support.

We definitely can count  on the support of Daria's daughter, Deborah.  She too is a restauranteur (Ristoante La Cantina) in town and we have had two campaign meetings in her establishment.  She confides secrets to us (her service charge is less than her mother's and yet she serves linens - her mother-paper) and she freely and openly engages in sexual relations with her boyfriend on the street outside her restaurant.  Her boyfriend is not her mother's chef.  See, I know secrets, and blackmail can be helpflul in any campaign!

While waiting in the piazza, and I am being very generous using that word, for my campaign manager, I pressed a little flesh.  Three Italian women and a bambino, maybe 1 1/2 - possibly two years old, were walking by and I gave the boy, Lucca, a campaign winning grin (sans Invisalign since we were going to eat).  His traditionally Italian looking mother -  meaning  unattractive and rather hairy - picked up Lucca and forced the child to wave at me in one of those backwards Italian waves.  

I feel comfortable I have the toddler vote.

Tonight I secured a majority of local business owners.  Francesca (Francoise) at the Bistot Di Moranda fell in love with me, and I her.  While it turns out she is French, she has a familial,  bossy German feel.  

She scolded my campaign manager, who embarrassed me, for drinking white wine with her secondi course - a sirloin steak.  I could have lost Francesca's support in an instant, but I made sure she knew that I understood proper wine etiquette and that said campaign manager was just hired help.

For a moment I thought my campaign was sunk. 

 While standing at the "hostess stand" to pay the bill, I spotted one of the local dinosaurs that roam the streets on Monticchiello on a daily basis.  Pleasantries do not come to her naturally - perhaps she doesn't like Americans - but tonight I thought I would press my luck and give the old crone a big campaign smile and wave.  Hesitantly, she lifted her fourteenth century arm and waved.  I think I may have seen a smile too.

Departing the restaurant, Francesca begged that I return before  the election (or was run out of town) - without my campaign manager, of course.  Lying through my half-completed Invisaligned smile, I told her I would return. 

The final business owner in town is an obese, cigar chewing man who owns the ladies clothes shop.  He diverts his eyes whenever I try to make eye contact to say giorno or sera (morning and afternoon).  He  constantly paces the street in front of his shop.

He too is a relic, as are nearly all of the residents of Monticchiello, and will be a difficult nut to crack.  I suspect all it will take is for me to be in the right place at the right time andI will be able to snap a few photos of him in one of his lady outfits and then my coup will be complete.

Monticchiello is magical, and the Val D'Orcia may be the most beautiful in all of Tuscany, but I have come to feel that when I am elected I may not see my term to completion.   Beauty and magic are enchanting, but I aspire to a higher level of spirituality - cell service and 3G for my iPad.  Connectivity is key!

WILL I KEEP THE PROMISE I MADE TO MYSELF

I now have just less than 13 hours before my flight leaves.  We have an intentional four and a half hour layover in Newark.   Initially it was three and a half hours but United changed their schedule.  I am fine with it.  I want to make sure if there is a delay out of Phoenix I do not have to scramble to get my connection.

Joanne and I will have to figure a way of filling our time in Newark.

If the layover was a little longer we could have gone into New York City for lunch, or if it was the pre-September 11th days, friends could have met us at the airport for drinks. 

Wow - I just realized I don't even remember pre-911 travel and whether we had to go through screening.  Did we?

I have made a vow, a promise to myself, to share my experiences in Italy on a daily basis.  I am hoping to sit down each evening before I go to sleep and write about the day and upload some special photographs.

The next post should be while in Newark.

Stay tuned to see if I am able to keep my promise.

NINE DAYS UNTIL ITALY

It is unbelievable that I booked my trip to Italy over five months ago and now I leave in less than  ten days.  Where did the time go?

The first two months after booking the flight and the apartment (Villa  - ha) in Monticchiello, I was obsessed.  I spent most of my waking hours planning one portion or another of the trip.  It took me that long to locate a hotel in Verona for one night and to commit to a hotel in Rome for our three nights there.

There was also negotiations with my travel companion, Joanne, on where we would spend our time.  This part was quite simple.  From the beginning, her main focus has been on our time in Tuscany. 

She has been to Rome and has already informed me she will not be tagging along to the Vatican, and I suspect she will not be going with me to the Coliseum, ruins, or ancient city.  She hasn't mentioned the Trevi Fountain. 

One thing I had hoped to accomplish prior to leaving for Milan was to be conquer the Italian language.  Well, maybe not conquer as much as familiarize myself - and I did start out admirably.  I listened to my Italian language lessons while driving to and from work and whenever I was in the car.  I took a few quizzes on the computer and did quite well.

That was three months ago now and I fear I have lost most of what I learned, - which actually wasn't much.

I know the words for today, hot and cold. 

I have downloaded some language apps to my iPhone and I suspect they will be my saving grace.

Tonight I repacked the items I have already packed into my suitcase and I would say I am about 50% done.  Tomorrow I will pack more and hopefully write more.

Night

OFF TO MONTICCHIELLO AND A SO-SO START WITH THE FRIENDLY SKIES

Less than two weeks ago I stumbled upon the above apartment in the medieval Tuscan village of Monticchiello, Italy and practically booked it overnight, and tonight I declined an invitation to attend a birthday party for a friend so I could go over to my friend Joanne’s house to book her airline ticket to join me in Italy.  I purchased my ticket with ease a couple of hours earlier.

Purchasing Joanne’s ticket was not quite so easy.

While it took me less than five minutes to pick the seats I wanted and charge my credit card, it took nearly two hours to do the same for Joanne.

In the beginning the process was uneventful.  I found the flights, entered her personal information, selected the seats next to mine and entered her credit card number , and while it was not declined, the transaction did not go through – twice.  We called her credit card company and they called the airline (the one with the friendly skies slogan) and the representative we got was for Bangladesh or Bangalore (not sure which) and I then was on the phone for over an hour as he booked the ticket for us.

The telephone connection was not good and the delay was annoying and when all was finished he gave me a total of $1645 at which point I told him I knew the price should be $1620 plus I wanted to upgrade her seat to premium seating – an additional $400 charge.  Initially he said they were not available and then I informed him that I had just purchased a ticket for myself and was on their website and that the upgraded seats were available for an additional charge.  I then proceeded to tell him exactly which seats I desired.

Then the problems started again.  He was determined to get us to pay the additional $25 fee for him booking the flight and I kept refusing and after a few minutes the credit card representative asked that he waive the fee due to the problems we encountered with their website. He begrudgingly agreed and we concluded the conversion.

To confirm the reservation I returned to the website and entered the confirmation number and successfully found the reservation, but there were two glaring errors.

After all the time I had spent on the phone with the not-so-pleasant friendly skies representative, he misspelled Joanne’s last name.  This needed to be correctly immediately so I called and this time spoke with a much more pleasant man, but it still took over 30 minutes to get the her name corrected - time consuming but Joanne entertained me by donning a cheap platinum wig and feeding me cookies and nuts.

The second error had me seeing green with envy.

I had asked, as did the credit card representative, that the processing fee of $25 be waived, but not only had that fee been waived, our unpleasant friend at the friendly skies, knowingly or unknowingly, waived the upgraded seat charge of $400.  Her total charge was $1625.

While this was not of Joanne’s doing, she seemed to relish the idea of getting a bargain (which she had nothing to do with).  I told her she owed me half the amount for the time I had invested, not to mention the birthday party I had to forego.

We settled on a meal in Italy which I will make sure is very expensive.

Reversed and Trillin - 2013

For the past two weeks I have felt a need to return to the pages of this lost art form, and I am here today to let you know, all one or two of you interested people, that grandpa is about to return to the pages of 2288 Beckley Rd. Stay tuned and I hope I can live up to the expectations I have set for myself, as 2013 turns into the best year yet. Gpa is Reserved and Trillin!

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REDISCOVERING THE QUEEN OF NICE

Rosie O’Donnell’s long awaited return to series television premiered last night on The Oprah Winfrey Network and all I have to say is I’m Damn Glad you are Back Rosie!

The show is a mash-up of The Tonight Show meets The Oprah Winfrey Show meets Univision’s Sabado Gigante. There is an opening stand-up routine, a question and answer session, a Broadway style musical number, celebrity interview, and the show finishes with a game show.

The Rosie Show is pure Rosie through and through and it is easy to remember why we connected with the Rosie O’Donnell Show 15 years ago. She is real, funny, cheesy, and entertaining every-woman. She is a child of Broadway and retro-television shows like Carol Burnett, The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Truth or Consequence, and the Ed Sullivan Show.

No one has ever connected to an audience the way Rosie does - not her new boss Oprah, who appeared to be above the audience, nor the other successful daytime lesbian Ellen DeGeneres. Rosie is one of the audience and has always had an exuberance and passion about her that no one else brings to the table. She is even more relatable all these years later now that she has been in the trenches as a parent for the past 17 years – something that is unique to her when compared to her peers.

Having had the pleasure of meeting, and being in the company of, Rosie several times, I can say that the warmth, compassion, and humor the audience experiences onstage with Rosie is how she is in public as well. She relates to the every day and is possibly more at home with the average stay at home mom then she is with high dollar celebrities, as she has lived the past 10 years as a suburbanite with only fleeting moments of celebrity.

While I loved all things Rosie about the show, there were elements that distracted me – none of them having to do with its host or the content, but more the bricks and mortar.

The set of the old Rosie O’Donnell Show was bright, cheery and upbeat, and it was shot in a much smaller space. The audience always felt like they were participants in the show. That intimate feeling in missing with the move to Oprah’s cavernous state-of-the-art studio. While Rosie’s connection to the audience is always evident, it is only because she is who she is. A smaller personality would get lost in the auditorium like studio.

For the opening stand-up routine, Rosie is positioned in front of a satin curtain backdrop. Prior to the premier, I had seen the curtain in promotions and I wrongly thought it was meant to keep the real stage a secret until the debut yesterday. I was wrong. The curtain appears cheap and almost an afterthought, and I think it needs to go. I would prefer they darken the stage behind her, or at least move the curtain back 10 feet back.

During the interview portion with Russell Brand (more on that in a bit) I found the two overstuffed chairs lost on the massive stage. While it is a beautiful stage, there needs to be a backdrop of some sort that shrinks the size of the space surrounding her and her guest during this segment of the show to make it more intimate. For the big numbers, or whenever necessary, the full stage can be opened.

I suspect the lighting of the show was an important consideration in pre-production. Since the show is sandwiched between daytime and primetime the mood of the show had to have been of concern. Daytime shows are usually brighter and late-night talk shows are typically darker. In the end it appears a more nighttime feel was chosen for the Rosie Show, and since it was still light outside when I watched the show, I’m not sure of the right choice was made.

As everyone who know me is well aware, I am a huge admirer of Rosie. I think her humor and wit are matched only by her compassion and heart, but for the life of me I do not get her new celebrity crush -Russell Brand. While I cannot put my finger on it, there is something about him that … well… creeps me out. I find it difficult to understand him and have an even worse time looking at him. He is like an unattractive and filthy Farrah Fawcett - all hair and teeth - and always in need of a bath.

With a stable full of big named celebrity friends and acquaintances, an “A Lister” such as Rosie should have pulled out the big guns and had a big name sitting across from her on her inaugural show . My choice would have been:

- One of the Ryans -Gosling or Reynolds
- The Casts of Glee or Modern Family
- George Clooney (who I am not crazy about – but still)
- Lady Gaga
- Hilary Clinton
- The Queen of Entertainment – Barbra Streisand
- Or Tom Cruise who she ended her last show with

The problems with the lighting and the staging will not keep me from watching the show – and are just my opinion. I look forward to getting home from work each evening and plopping down to watch the new Rosie Show on DVR. I couldn’t be happier she is back. Her brand of humor and heart have been sorely lacking in television since she left. This time around the koosh balls may be missing but what remains is a good time capped off with confetti.

SARAH PALIN - PLEASE SHUT UP

Can't someone shut up this media whore? She has nothing useful to say!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH: INVOKE THE 14TH AMENDMENT AND END THE CRISIS

Tell President Obama to use his 14th Amendment powers, raise the debt ceiling without Congress, end this crisis, and tell the House Republicans to go take a hike.

For weeks now, House Republicans have been holding America hostage, and threatening to wreak havoc with our credit rating and our economy. They have refused to raise the debt ceiling unless their extremist policies are enacted, policies that place a higher priority on defending tax loopholes for corporate jets than on preserving Medicare and Social Security.

Enough is enough. Mr. President, it is time to use your 14th Amendment powers to end this crisis.

The 14th Amendment to the Constitution clearly states that the validity of the U.S. government's debt "shall not be questioned." Leaders from President Clinton1 to Representative James Clyburn to have called upon the president to invoke these powers.

Republicans, apparently unable to read, have tried to claim that doing this would be unconstitutional. But these same Republicans have held America hostage for too long. It is time for President Obama to move ahead without them, and use the powers given to him by the Constitution. If the Republicans really want to take their claims to court, let them. But right now, it's time to end this long, national nightmare.

Enough is enough. Tell President Obama to use his 14th Amendment powers to end this crisis.

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THE DOUBLE STANDARD OF CHRSTIAN TERRORISM

I found the below article on Facebook, posted by an organization called "People Against the Tea Party." It was written by a man named Joshua Stewart. You can click the title to read it in it's original website.

On July 23, 2011 a terror attack rocked Oslo, Norway, killing 93 innocent people. The speculation began from the moment it was reported. Everyone was convinced a Muslim was behind it. Then a suspect was captured. He was both white and Christian.

From that moment forward, in typical Western fashion, people came out of the woodwork trying to distance him from Christianity, even though his words said otherwise. Even some atheists, for whatever reason, were trying to separate Christianity from this act of obvious terrorism.

This highlights a fundamental hypocrisy that we have seen time and time again in the West. Had this man been brown-skinned with an Arabic name, he would have automatically been labeled a Muslim fanatic and a terrorist.

History

This scene has played out many times before from Tim McVeigh to Joe Stack to John Bedell to the Hutaree in Michigan to Jared Loughner. When a person is a White or Anglo European Christian, he is not labeled a terrorist. Instead, he his actions are often dismissed (not justified or excused) as by that of a “mentally disturbed” or “crazy” person. He is never a terrorist, nor is his Christian faith ever mentioned. Even the Hutaree, who were investigated by the Anti-terrorism Task Force, were only called a “Christian militia” by the media, and their faith was the centerpiece of their actions.


Why?!

It begs the question: why is this? Why does Western society strive to distance Christianity from these occurrences, when they also are the first to call Muslims who perpetrate the same acts as terrorists?

Terrorists

Let it be stated that I am not saying that al-Qa’ida or Richard Reid are not Islamic terrorists. Of course they are. But, in the same breath, the Hutaree and Andres Breivik are Christian terrorists. If you are a Christian, it does not mean you condone his actions and his being a Christian does not reflect on you.

Justification

The problem is, with religion it’s not difficult to find scriptures to justify these actions, whether it be in the Qur’an or the Bible.

In the Bible, God commands the decimation of entire cities, and Psalm 137:8-9 reads, “O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us. Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.”

People say that Jesus preached a message of love and tolerance (even as many of these same people are hardly loving and tolerant of, for instance, homosexuals and atheists). Fair enough. Let’s say that is 100% accurate. That doesn’t make him not a Christian. He may be a “bad Christian” but he is still a Christian nonetheless.

Hypocrisies

The “no true Scotsman” argument is one of the biggest Christian hypocrisies in which Christians are judging who is a true Christian and who is not. Many do this whether the person in question be Andres Breivik or a formerly devout Christian-turned-atheist (like Dan Barker, for instance), when Jesus commanded them to not be judgmental. (Matthew 7:1-2; John 8:7)

They do this because they are ashamed that such occurrences can be aligned with their faith, and rightly so. In the same way, many non-extremist Muslims try and claim the Taliban are not real Muslims.

Whether they are distorting scriptures or not, the fact remains that they do not have to look far to do so. And that’s frightening. Religion has inspired violence and bigotry since its earliest incarnations. To try and say it doesn’t, or that religious extremists aren’t real adherents of said faith is doing a giant disservice to all mankind.

Manifesto

In closing, let’s look at an excerpt from Breivik’s manifesto:

“I trust that the future leadership of a European cultural conservative hegemony in Europe will ensure that the current Church leadership are replaced and the systems somewhat reformed.” He further states. “We must have a Church leadership who supports a future Crusade with the intention of liberating the Balkans, Anatolia and creating three Christian states in the Middle East. Efforts should be made to facilitate the de-construction of the Protestant Church whose members should convert back to Catholicism. The Protestant Church had an important role once, but its original goals have been accomplished and have contributed to reform the Catholic Church as well. Europe should have a united Church lead [sic] by a just and non-suicidal pope who is willing to fight for the security of his subjects, especially in regards to Islamic atrocities.”

Now let us examine this again with some minor substitutions:

“I trust that the future leadership of a Arab cultural conservative hegemony in Europe will ensure that the current Mosque leadership are replaced and the systems somewhat reformed.” Furthermore, “We must have a Mosque leadership who supports a future Jihad with the intention of liberating the Balkans, Anatolia and creating three Islamic states in the Middle East. Efforts should be made to facilitate the de-construction of the Shi’a whose members should convert back to Sunnism. The Shi’a had an important role once, but its original goals have been accomplished and have contributed to reform Sunni Islam as well. Iran should have a united Khilafah lead [sic] by a just and non-suicidal Imam who is willing to fight for the security of his subjects, especially in regards to Christian atrocities.”

If it was a Muslim who wrote the latter statement and then committed acts of violence including a bombing and shooting spree, he’d be labeled an Islamic terrorist hands-down and rightly so. Look at Nidal Hassan, for example. Let’s stop the hypocrisy and label Breivik what he is — a Christian terrorist.

Joshua Stewart
SupportAtheism.com

Let me add, though many people think I am, I am not an Aetheist.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

‎"If you can look at a crime where everything points to one answer and not see it, you're a dumbass. And if you can look at the deficit and not realize that the rich stopped paying taxes, you're a republican."~Bill Maher