Monday, March 30, 2009

THE BIBLE SAYS NO TO GLOBAL WARMING



Is this guy serious?

At first I thought it was from the "Onion News" because it is so ridiculous.

People wonder what is wrong with this country and our Congress - well this is the answer.

During what I presume to be a serious debate about global warming, this fool is telling us that global warming doesn't exist.... because the bible(oh - am I supposed to capitalize that?)... The Bible says differently.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Why do we send idiots like Representative Shimkus to congress?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

TAMMY BRUCE - MY LONG LOST FORMER SISTER-IN-LAW?

When I first read about Tammy Bruce’s tirade against the First Lady of the United States - referring to her as trash - I thought, “just another boney, ultra-conservative right-winger trying to make a name for herself,” however, I was only partially right, and I was surprised to find that I may have a connection to her.

Like 99% of the country, I had never heard of Tammy Bruce prior to her headline grabbing diatribe against Michelle Obama, so I “googled” her name and read articles about her and watched her on a few “so called” news shows.

On her website (I won’t advertise her website by giving the URL) it shows a photograph of her and I upon first seeing it I was dumbstruck - Tammy Bruce bears a striking resemblance to my former sister-in-law.

Yeah, her teeth may be straighter, the girth of her nose may have been neatly trimmed and she may now be a rabid lesbian, but she is my brother’s former bride. Interest piqued, I had to do some further investigation.

I learned that “Tammy” was born in California in 1962 and is a gun-loving, pro-choicer, who changed political parties back in the 1990s. Except for the birth year, it sounds like her.

She may have stretched the truth regarding the year she was born, but lying came naturally to her and her clan, and if my memory serves me correctly, her family did have a personal affinity for firearms, name calling, fighting and abortion as their only form of birth control.

Their other passion was pasta.

Coincidence – I think not!

They loved picking fights and threatening others with their guns. They did not care who it was. No one was off limit, not even family.

Hell, as we were moving out of town, I distinctly remember “Tammy’s” brother driving by our house waving a gun in the air, threatening us, and she and her toddler daughter were with us.

I got along fine with “Tammy,” although she may not have been the warmest woman in the world, but it was not her fault. She was raised by a woman who did not have an ounce of conscious or compassion. When they moved from Tucson, Arizona to Denver, CO, her mother took the beloved family poodle to the groomers and purposely left it there as they drove out of town.

Sounds like the same folk. The more I read, the more I am certain “Tammy” is the ISM’s ex-wife.


As I now stare at the picture of Tammy Bruce, I can’t be 100% certain she is my brother’s ex-wife, after all I haven’t seen her in over 25 years, but the similarities are just too much of a coincidence - they both are from California, mean spirited, gun-sporting, abortion lovers who lack compassion and like to pick fights. The odds are in my favor - Tammy Bruce must be my former sister in-law.

Did I mention the family was trash?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

ITS JUST A TOWEL

Noelle spent the weekend with us two weeks ago and after breakfast while I was doing "chores" around the house she was in her bedroom playing. Typically when she plays in her room there is some noise and every few minutes she comes out to ask, or more often, tell me something.

After she was in there for quite some time without coming out, and I couldn't hear any noise coming from the room, I suspected she was doing something she shouldn't. As I approached her room the door was shut - not a good sign.

When I opened the door and walked in I didn't see her, but I knew she was there - maybe in the closet or behind the dresser. I peered around the bed and she was lying on the floor, half of her body under the bed and the other half exposed. She was sitting up at a funny angle, resting her hand on a small, thin item, trying to hide something, and there were unidentifiable marks on her face.

As I got closer I could see that her hand was on a makeup kit and the blotches on her face was her attempt to put on the makeup.

Being the understanding grandfather that I am, (meaning I understand the need for make up once in a while)instead of scolding her, I asked if she wanted grandpa to put the make up on her. She excitedly agreed.

In my attempt to correct what she had done to herself, while softly talking to her about not touching things that don't belong to her, I made matters worse.



After I took several pictures of her, and we both had a good laugh at the disaster I had made of her face, I decided to give her a bath and remove it.



It was then that I discovered it was going to take more then soap and water to get this cheap makeup off her face. Fortunately, I had some old cold creme in the house, left over from one of the Halloween parties, so I slathered up her face (and hair) and rid her face of the brown oil slick and green eye shadow.




The part that I found the funniest, and was able to capture on video, happened after I took her out of the sink. While I was drying her off I made the comment that her towel looked like a dress - an evening gown. She didn't like that!

She is such a doll, but let me tell you, she is opinionated and mouthy. I love it but I do not know where she gets it!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

SO I'M A STAR F@#KER-GET OVER IT!




Okay - So tonight while reading Rosie's "Ask Rosie," someone mentioned Jane Fonda's blog. Naturally, I had to pop in to see what it was all about - American Idol had just ended and 9pm was way too early to go to bed - and I ended up reading several of her entries.

Jane Fonda has a real live f-ing Blog.

She talks about her causes, day-to-day life, her family, and return to the Broadway stage after (I believe) 46 years in "33 Variation" where she has received glowing reviews.

I've always been an admirer, and have enjoyed her in every film I have seen her in, but because, well, you know... her hey-day was Barbra's hey-day and I could only have eyes for one STAR at a time; however, I have always admired her convictions, intelligence, talent, and Christ, her beauty. The woman is still such a knock out!

So I went to Jane's website and I think I may be addicted.

I like her common sense approach to writing - she drew me in with her writing - even something as pedestrian as her trip to Starbucks for a bagel (as I recall she forgot her money and had to return home - but they were out of bagels anyway).

Perhaps it was the photo of Jane and Dolly Parton - I love a good reunion!!!

Oh, if only Barbra would blog. She could do duet blogs with say, Neil Diamond or Donna Summer - and if she has to, Barry Gibb. How fun would that be - or maybe she could teach current singers how to sing instead of lip sync (Madonna and Britney can you hear me).

Okay - Enough is Enough - back to Jane.

The link for Jane's site is www.JaneFonda.com (could it be any simpler). Take a look, it's a pleasing slice of an American Icon's life.

Thanks Jane... I will be visiting way too often and will be adding the site to my blogroll!