When creating my website, I secretly hoped I was building a bridge from the past to the future and it would help me reconnect with far-away, but not forgotten friends. I purposely included captioned photographs hoping someone would find me while searching Google or Yahoo, or somehow word would filter back, rekindling old memories and spark renewed contact.
For the past few days memories of a long-ago life-changing secret love have been orbiting my cyber presence and swirling around in my consciousness. Recently my virtual front door has been knocked on frequently, welcoming unnamed visitors who unintentionally search his name from my past and inflame warm thoughts of distant memories.
My former love remains young, beautiful and perfect as ours was an instance of two youthful innocents wrestling against untested boundaries and fears. We were never forced to confront conformity or bend to acceptance because we never crossed the line or challenged its limits.
Ultimately for me it was a time of cowardly indecision and confusion, and the echoes, both joyful and filled with pain, constantly ring in my head.
My memory of him has never tarnished with the stale breath of reality. I look back at him now and can still see our beauty wrapped in the simplicity of the age, and the endless avenues of a yet lived life.
I have yet to receive that “voice from the past” email looking to re-ignite a long dormant distant passion, and unconsciously I am not certain I truly welcome it or how I would react. Perhaps it is best to keep past memories of unfulfilled love buried deep within and only unearth them in the privacy of our solitude.