WHAT A WEEKEND

I have returned and what a whirlwind, wonderful weekend. I was able to make my way back to Kalamazoo without anyone finding out, therefore, there was a surprise involved.

Late in the afternoon Friday we called a taxi cab to take us to the airport. US Airways automatically upgraded us to first class which caused an unexpected problem for Fettit. Can you imagine…getting a first class upgrade being a problem? I can’t!

Fettit’s sister flew through Phoenix on her way back to Michigan and we coordinated our flights so we could fly together; however, we were upgraded. Fettit felt compelled to sit in the back with her; however, when we got to the airport we learned the flight was sold out. Later we learned her flight was delayed so we debated whether to board before she arrived at the gate or when they first announced boarding.

I like to board early so I left Fettit at the gate waiting for Donna, or I thought I left him at the gate waiting for Donna, but when I got to the airplane door he was right on my heals. We put away our carry-ons, ordered a gin and tonic and a vodka and soda and waited for his sister to board.

Donna boarded the plane and instantly glared in our direction. She learned in Salt Lake City we had been seated in first class so she knew exactly where to look when she entered the plane and came aboard loaded for bear…supposedly joking, but I think she was bothered. She knew we had no choice but it still upset her.

I wonder if it bothered her more on the way home - we were upgraded again.

The flight was uneventful, including my sad spinach and walnut salad and Fettit’s Curry Chicken pasta. The drinks flowed liberally but not too much that I couldn’t drive safely. We sent Donna a glass of wine to the back and the flight attendant got a huge laugh when Fettit asked the her (quite seriously) if he could send his pie four rows back. She told him it was the funniest request she had ever received.

The party on Saturday was a smashing success (WATCH THE VIDEO). My crazy-eyed, good looking 50 year old brother with a clown-sized smile was genuinely surprised when I arrived. Although he initially believed I was coming home, my scent went cold when his lovely, long lost daughter surprised him and flew into Grand Rapids with his youngest granddaughter.

Starting with my unexpected arrival, there was plenty of excitement and laughs throughout the evening. Usually understated, my oldest brother Frank pretended to sing with the birthday quartet, lip-syncing the words and making funny faces and acting like he belonged.

Near the end of the evening a drunken bar patron backed up into two cars making then look like conjoined twins and Kevin, whose car was in the next spot practically hopped over the two story railing to find that his car was also involved. Screaming like his hair was in fire, he learned his bumper was slightly scratched; however the scratch was only visible with a jeweler’s loupe.

My nephew Steve rushed to Kevin’s defense when a passer-by called him Elton John and he proceeded to hit on the female cop telling her that he “likes a woman with a gun.” She shot him down without a bullet.

Later he disappointed a "MILF" by passing out on her during the drive home as friends and family members lusted over an extended cousin model with a killer smile and two nieces couldn’t hold on to the bucking bull long enough tame the beast.

The next day, after spending time with family, I drove the back roads to Fenton (2 hours away) to join the Motown lesbian cookout, but didn’t arrive soon enough to have grilled food with Fettit’s sister Clara or to see her passionate flower.

I did arrive in time to encounter an uncomfortable lesbian love connection that lead to drama for all those in attendance and the scheduled bonfire was postponed by two hours as we attempted to remove the clods and dead weeds from the fire-ring.

The weather was unseasonably warm for late September until Monday when we received a special gift. It rained all day so we drove to Detroit and lost our king crab leg money at the casino so we had to feed Ma and Pa Bishba Stouffer’s lasagna.

Yesterday we arrived home early in the morning and all I could think about seeing Noelle and getting Eddie B home. Within a couple of hours Noelle was running down the driveway screaming “Papa… Papa.”

We kept her overnight and then she was off to her first night at the daycare. She is getting so big and at 21 months can count to three. I spent time reading to her and having her name the different colors and fell in love listening to her say purple.

I think she is a genius and the cutest child ever born. I was looking at her last night and had a flashback. She looked just like her mother and for an instant my eyes started to welled up.

Later we took her out to dinner and as we were leaving the restaurant she stopped by every table to say goodbye. She is just too damn cute!