It is a new Monday, the sun is bright in the cloudless sky and I am not sure what to do with it. Since being laid-off on August 1st I cannot seem to find the motivation to start or complete the myriad of projects that need to be accomplished around the house.
For the past year I have been chained to my laptop awaiting an urgent email asking me to help put out this or that fire and I find that although I am no longer required to do so, I can't step away.
I find the same is true when I go out to lunch. I order and eat as though I am expecting a telephone call which will require me to rush home to resolve someones elementary issue.
I'm free and am released from hell but I can't move past it.
I have identified several employment opportunities but haven't forwarded my resume to any of them.
I keep talking about taking a few days and going to California to see some friends but I can't commit to that yet either.
At one point I thought of going over to Palm Springs for a few days and lying by a pool reading, but it made no sense to me. Why spend the money for a hotel when I have a deliciously private pool in my back yard and Jim is away each day at work?
I have also been contemplating, a partially planning, a camping trip. I've thought of gathering up my camping gear, which has only been used once, putting Miss Edna Bitely (my pooch) in the car and taking off to visit the half dozen or so national parks within Arizona, southern Utah and California. Almost like part two of the trip I took in June/July - but camping instead of hoteling it.
I can see myself setting up camp next to a babbling brook with the towering pines above me, Miss Edna by my side, catching up on all the books and magazine Ive purchased over the past year and have not read. Sounds like heaven - no people just Ed and me...IDEAL!
But why am I not motivated enough to do it?
Maybe today I will make some prgogress..............